Which man are you pursuing?

When you think of being the ideal husband, what does that look like? Does this man have everything together? Does he always have the answer to every question his kids throw at him? How is his marriage?

Whenever I think of the ideal husband, I think of someone that has confidence. Someone that doesn’t have a worry because he’s done such a good job taking care of everything. He raises the perfect kids. He can provide for the entire family but still not miss out on being a husband to his wife or a father to his children. Nothing ever is a problem for anyone because he can handle it all.
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To the wives: Seduce your husbands

Todays husband hack is a post for the lady readers.

I love it when TJ seduces me. I love when she plans something in the bedroom. Not because it’s anything extra special but because it sends me a message. It tells me that she desires me and wants to be with me.

I know that I find a joy and a contentment in being desired by my wife. Having her being willing to initiate sex tells me that she loves me and loves being with me. It lets me know that she’s as committed to me as I am to her in a way that words can’t express. She’s willing to let me see her at her most vulnerable.

It also tells me that she trusts me. I know that when she says she wants to make love, that she’s saying I trust you with my heart. I know that you’re going to care for it and while you may fail me, you won’t intentionally hurt me.

It also changes my attitude towards TJ. Knowing she wants to be with me, makes me want to work that much harder to keep her interested in me. It motivates me to do more romantic things for her.

In the end, sex almost always improves a marriage relationship. No matter who initiates it, sex can help to keep the fires of passion burning in a relationship. When TJ intiates it though, it brings an extra element of desiring and contentment. It also helps to reaffirm the trust we have in each other.

I don’t expect TJ to initiate every time or even often. But every once in awhile it is a nice change of pace.

Do you seduce your husband?
Does it make your relationship stronger?
What other benefits do you see when you seduce your husband?

Are you a jerk for Christ?

Steve Martin in The Jerk
Are you a jerk for the sake of your faith? Do you condemn those around you whenever they do something wrong because they’re obviously in sin? Is it better to correct a brother or condemn a brother? Is there a difference? Is it better to be theologically sound with everyone around you or to act in love for the sake of Christ?

In my own faith journey, I started out as someone who wanted to always be theologically sound. I think I believed in my heart of hearts that being a Christian meant always doing the right thing and then showing off my polished self to God. I didn’t want to have to rely on Christ. I wanted to be able to save myself.

In the last few years, I’ve slowly been coming to the realization that I really can’t save myself. As much as I want to be the strong man for TJ, I’m doing more harm than good by pretending. It’s only by God’s saving grace through Jesus Christ that I can be saved.

How then I can be condemning and ungracious towards others when I’ve been shown so much grace? How can I not show love to others around me when I know the depth of my own wickedness that’s been forgiven?

This is not meant to be a “we’re all horrible people” blog post but it’s supposed to serve as a reminder to how great and loving our God is. How can we not share that love with those around us?

I think sharing the love and grace of Christ with those around us matters a lot more to God than condemning sin every single time it comes up in the lives of those around us. Yes, there is a place for speaking the truth in love but there are times when showering people in grace is more important than convicting them of sin. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Our job is to simply be available.

Have you been a jerk to someone because they were in sin?
Did it hurt or help their relationship with Christ?
Did it hurt or help YOUR relationship with Christ?

The Necessity For Community

I took an uncomfortable step yesterday. I trusted people.

I know it may sound weird to some of you that I have a hard time trusting people, but I do. I like to always keep people at arms length. It’s more comfortable and easier for me to put on a face in front of people. It’s easier to lie to people and tell them everything is OK instead of let them know how terrible of a person I really am.
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Being vs Doing

Apathy can sometimes look like boredom
Apathy can sometimes look like boredom

As a man who grew up in a somewhat “traditional” home, it’s very easy for me to fall into the habits I grew up with. Mainly the idea that the man works and the wife takes care of the house. I find it very easy, and slightly comforting sometimes, to just sit and stair at my computer screen, doing a whole lot of nothing.

It’s unfortunate but it happens more often than not in my household. I don’t like that it happens but it sometimes just does… Sitting around and doing nothing is just passively letting life pass me by instead of being active in it.
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Make Your Own Romantic Comedy

Just say no to Romantic Comedies
A date night is a great thing and something that TJ and I try to practice on a regular basis. Most anything goes for things to do when it comes to date night. Sometimes we’ll go see a play, other times we’ll just go for dinner, and other times we’ll just stay at home and watch a romantic comedy.

While romantic comedies (romcom for short) can make for some highly entertaining movies, they also have potential to be pretty damaging to a relationship. Here are a few reasons why I think so:
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How do you “Man Up”?

Man Up Mustache
Copyright Dirk Fowler

What does it mean to “Man Up”? How does that work? What does that even mean?

One thought could be that it means to stop acting like a little boy. Whining every time we don’t get what we want. It could mean putting down the video game controller and spending time listening to your wife. Or maybe it means to stop being a lazy slob and get out of the chair and help your wife with all of the house work.

Another thought could be that being a man means to just work 40 hours a week and then come home, flop infront of the TV, and just stay there. Just being the provider is enough for the family. The kids are fine on their own; they’re independent and don’t need Dad. You just need to work your 40 hours to give them a better life than what you had.

Man up by getting down

In my mind, you “man up” by modeling Christ’s heart for all those around you to see. You “man up” by getting on your knees before the Lord and model the sacrificed life for your wife and kids. You “man up” by leading your kids in a life that sets a precedent of how to live a life devoted to Christ.

Pray with your kids, pray with your wife, pray with and for those in your life. Let your kids see you do it. Don’t hide it from them; let them know what you’re doing it and why you’re doing it. Use it as an opportunity to teach them the lessons you’ve learned from Christ.

Yes, I do also believe that “manning up” means to not be a meek man but one that stands firm in his convictions and beliefs; a man that doesn’t skirt responsibility and is diligent in his work. But I believe that you can’t be that kind of man unless you’re first surrendered to Christ and allowing Him to work in you and through you everyday.

Do you agree? Disagree? Why? I would love to hear your answers.