Have an affair with your wife

This is one of the bigger ideas in the Husband Romance Toolkit series.

Romance your wife like you're having an affair

A few months ago my wife and I were living in two separate cities. We weren’t separated or anything like that. I was going to school in Portland and she was trying desperately to get down there to start living with me again. During that time, we saw each other a few times a month, other times we saw each other once in six weeks. It was no fun.

In trying to think of ways that we could help keep our relationship healthy, we would randomly have scandalous nights. And what I mean by scandalous nights is one of us would make a reservation at a hotel in a city that was half way between where we were both living at the time. We would then leave wherever we were and not tell anyone where we were going. At all. We would then get up and go our separate ways the next morning. It wasn’t ideal but it did keep our relationship alive during those tough times when we weren’t together.

An Affair?

I know it sounds like a strange idea but hear me out. From their portrayal on TV (not speaking from personal experience) it seems like people in the affairs are passionate for each other or are love or they just want sex. And speaking as a married man in context of my relationship with my wife, I see nothing wrong with any of these motives. I find that they can be extremely healthy in a marriage. Being passionate for your wife, making her feel desired, is one of the best aphrodisiacs in the world.

How does that look?

Here are some practical tips that I employ when having an affair with my wife:

  • Spontaneous nights in a hotel – Don’t give her any clues about what’s going to happen. But tell her to meet you at a hotel, at a set time, in a specific room. I have found that sending this message in a text message or an e-mail adds to the mystery and scandal of the night. Encourage her to get dressed up.
  • Meet her at home for lunch and enjoy each other
  • Send her some racy text messages at times. Nothing too graphic but suggestive things that can get her heart racing.
  • Send flowers with a note signed “Your secret admirer” – and then admit that you sent them when you see her that night

This is no where near an exhaustive list. How would you go about having an affair with your wife? Share your ideas in the comments, on twitter, or send me an e-mail!

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