Which man are you pursuing?

When you think of being the ideal husband, what does that look like? Does this man have everything together? Does he always have the answer to every question his kids throw at him? How is his marriage?

Whenever I think of the ideal husband, I think of someone that has confidence. Someone that doesn’t have a worry because he’s done such a good job taking care of everything. He raises the perfect kids. He can provide for the entire family but still not miss out on being a husband to his wife or a father to his children. Nothing ever is a problem for anyone because he can handle it all.
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The Necessity For Community

I took an uncomfortable step yesterday. I trusted people.

I know it may sound weird to some of you that I have a hard time trusting people, but I do. I like to always keep people at arms length. It’s more comfortable and easier for me to put on a face in front of people. It’s easier to lie to people and tell them everything is OK instead of let them know how terrible of a person I really am.
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Being vs Doing

Apathy can sometimes look like boredom
Apathy can sometimes look like boredom

As a man who grew up in a somewhat “traditional” home, it’s very easy for me to fall into the habits I grew up with. Mainly the idea that the man works and the wife takes care of the house. I find it very easy, and slightly comforting sometimes, to just sit and stair at my computer screen, doing a whole lot of nothing.

It’s unfortunate but it happens more often than not in my household. I don’t like that it happens but it sometimes just does… Sitting around and doing nothing is just passively letting life pass me by instead of being active in it.
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How do you “Man Up”?

Man Up Mustache
Copyright Dirk Fowler

What does it mean to “Man Up”? How does that work? What does that even mean?

One thought could be that it means to stop acting like a little boy. Whining every time we don’t get what we want. It could mean putting down the video game controller and spending time listening to your wife. Or maybe it means to stop being a lazy slob and get out of the chair and help your wife with all of the house work.

Another thought could be that being a man means to just work 40 hours a week and then come home, flop infront of the TV, and just stay there. Just being the provider is enough for the family. The kids are fine on their own; they’re independent and don’t need Dad. You just need to work your 40 hours to give them a better life than what you had.

Man up by getting down

In my mind, you “man up” by modeling Christ’s heart for all those around you to see. You “man up” by getting on your knees before the Lord and model the sacrificed life for your wife and kids. You “man up” by leading your kids in a life that sets a precedent of how to live a life devoted to Christ.

Pray with your kids, pray with your wife, pray with and for those in your life. Let your kids see you do it. Don’t hide it from them; let them know what you’re doing it and why you’re doing it. Use it as an opportunity to teach them the lessons you’ve learned from Christ.

Yes, I do also believe that “manning up” means to not be a meek man but one that stands firm in his convictions and beliefs; a man that doesn’t skirt responsibility and is diligent in his work. But I believe that you can’t be that kind of man unless you’re first surrendered to Christ and allowing Him to work in you and through you everyday.

Do you agree? Disagree? Why? I would love to hear your answers.

Allowing Yourself to Live in Grace

As a dad it’s sometimes hard to cut myself some slack. I always feel this pressure to be the best person I can be at all times. People are depending on me to do that. If I am to lead this family, I have to be as perfect as I can be at all times. At least, that’s what I feel like sometimes. That’s what I tell myself at night.

Why is it that I feel that way? I think part of it comes from simply being a guy. Guys are told to just simply man-up and do what needs to get done. Make the tough call. Do the right thing always. Be a man and lead with courage. Never show weakness.

But I wonder, which is weaker: trying to constantly stand up straight under the burden of perfection? Or living a life of humble obedience to someone uniquely qualified to handle the burden of perfection?
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I Feel Pretty

I’m a gleek. I admit it. I LOVE that show. It’s awesome because the music is incredible. I really enjoy watching that show.

One reason I like Glee is because it deals with issues that are really important and hit close to home, especially for most young people today. In an episode during the second season called Born This Way, one of the main characters (Rachel) was tempted to get a nose job. She wanted to have a face like the head Cheerleader named Quinn. At one point in the show, they sing a song called I feel Pretty/Unpretty. It’s a great mash-up of Unpretty by TLC and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story. It blew my mind the first time I heard it.
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A bad start to any day

This is what I feel like most mornings at work

My day has lately been starting the same way every day. Alarm goes off at 5:18 every Monday-Friday and I end up staying in bed until 6. Get up, brush teeth, and rush out the door by 6:15. No breakfast, no quiet time; I barely give myself enough time to say have a good day to my wife. Once I get to work, I’m sluggish and it takes me quite awhile to get into the swing of things. Sometimes it can take me until lunch before I feel fully awake and coherent and by that point I’ve only got a few hours left in my day.
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