I took an uncomfortable step yesterday. I trusted people.
I know it may sound weird to some of you that I have a hard time trusting people, but I do. I like to always keep people at arms length. It’s more comfortable and easier for me to put on a face in front of people. It’s easier to lie to people and tell them everything is OK instead of let them know how terrible of a person I really am.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling to be vulnerable. I’ve been spending my whole life trying to hide my imperfections but I’m realizing that Christ has called me to be something different. God is calling me to be honest with where I’m at. He loves me just where I am. God has seen the broken promises and the sinful acts I’ve committed. He knows better than I do the damage that I’ve done to those around me with my sin.
Thankfully, God has placed a community of REALLY awesome guys around me. Guys that I can trust to be honest and open with me. Guys that I can trust to speak the truth to me in love and not condemnation. It really was only in that group of guys that I felt like it would be OK to talk about my struggles.
That’s the power of community. Having people to do life with you and love you through it anyways. Because we all know that life can be messy. We all screw things up. We make poor choices, we get stuck in bad circumstances, bad choices happen to us; it’s all messy and imperfect and that’s exactly the way God designed it. And having people around to keep us accountable is also how God designed it (Gen 2:18).
If you don’t have someone that you can be completely honest with, I would highly recommend finding someone. Whether that be a friend, mentor, pastor, coworker, or whomever; find someone that loves you enough to be honest with you. Maybe that means finding a church small group like I did.
In the end, I’m glad I chose to trust these men. I know they’re not perfect, I know they’ll make mistakes, but I know that they’ll always be there to speak the truth to me when I need to hear it the most.