As a husband, I am called to love my wife sacrificially. As a man, God has also given me passions that sometimes don’t always make it easy to love sacrificially. When these two conflict, how do you decide which one to do? Does loving sacrificially always beat out my passion whenever they’re in conflict? I don’t know.
On one hand, we are called to be sacrificial of ourselves. We’re supposed to be a visible, living example to the world of Christ’s death and resurrection. By dying to my passions, I am bringing life to TJ so she can flourish and grow. Now, know that I’m not saying she can’t ever flourish and grow, but having a husband that supports her makes it that much easier for her.
On the other hand, God is the one who created us with these passions. I know that many of the things I’m passionate about are things that have been programmed into me from the very beginning. I’ve always felt passionate about my passions ever since I discovered I them. In other words, no one taught me to be passionate about theatre, but I always have been. Nobody had to explain to me how cool working on computers is, I’ve always been passionate about fixing them.
How do you decide?
When loving sacrificially comes in conflict with your passion, how do you decide which one to do? Here are some basic troubleshooting steps that TJ and I have employed in the past:
- Pray – Take time to talk with God and seek His glory in the situation. Discover how would God best be served. You might be surprised at the answer. God has a way of providing a third option when it appears that there are only two paths in front of you. Taking the time to seek His desires is the first step you should always take
- Talk to your wife – TJ and I are wrestling with this problem right now. We’ve had several discussions about it. Communicating is me saying to TJ, “I want to do what’s best for you and for our family.”
- Pros and cons list – Take the time to weigh the pros and cons of the decision. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Or is it the other way around?
Be willing to make the hard choice
After all said and done, you have to make and stick with your choice. It can be hard sometimes. There have been a number of occasions where I’ve chosen not to pursue my passion so that TJ and I could pursue something together. It’s hard sometimes to deny yourself, but that’s what sacrificial love is all about.
Do you have an example of sacrificial love? Are you glad you did it?