When you think of being the ideal husband, what does that look like? Does this man have everything together? Does he always have the answer to every question his kids throw at him? How is his marriage?
Whenever I think of the ideal husband, I think of someone that has confidence. Someone that doesn’t have a worry because he’s done such a good job taking care of everything. He raises the perfect kids. He can provide for the entire family but still not miss out on being a husband to his wife or a father to his children. Nothing ever is a problem for anyone because he can handle it all.
The problem with that ideal man is that it is all based on his performance. He is the one doing the work and making sure that everything is OK. He is laboring and eventually he will burn out. He relies upon his own strength and his own strength will fail him.
When something like that happens, it can have an unfortunate backlash. In a situation like the ideal man I’ve described above, it can cause an implosion of an entire family.
There’s a better way
The problem with our ideal man is that he is slowly working to the end of himself. Eventually he will run out of steam and crash.
What we need is to rely on the unlimited power of Christ. We need to realize that we can’t be the husbands we want to be when we rely on our own strength. We NEED the power of Christ to be the men He’s called us to be.
It’s not the easy path…
It’s ironic that the ideal man we described earlier works himself to death but it almost seems we’d rather work than rest in the fullness of Christ. The attitude of I have to earn or work for the good things in my life is an attitude I struggle with on a daily basis. But we can’t earn our salvation and we can’t work off the debt we owe. Being a recipient of grace is extremely hard.
One of my favorite quotes about grace comes from Reliant K
“The Beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair”
In our tolerant, politically correct society, it’s hard to live with anything that is perceived as unfair. I don’t believe we’re wired that way.
The whole point is that becoming the ideal man requires us to think completely differently about how we view life. It requires us not to work harder in our own strength but to live a life dying to ourselves and letting Christ live through us. It means relying less on my own senses but following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It means realizing that we don’t have the power to offer anything to God and that all we can do is accept the offer He freely gives us. It requires a complete change of how we view our lives.
But it’s worth it
I’m personally only beginning to discover this but I’ve already started to see fruits. Choosing to surrender to Christ has already started to improve how I view those around me. My relationships with other people have already started to grow. I’m able to see the sin in my life as what it is. Christ is continually tapping me on the shoulder and pointing new things out to me; convicting me of sin, or pointing out areas where I’m holding back in some relationships. It’s been an interesting experience so far but one I’m glad I’m on.
My hope is that I as I rely on Christ, I am transformed into a man that my son can look up to. I hope I can become a man that my son can model himself after. I want to live a life worthy of the words “Well done good and faithful servant.”