When I was a boy, I wanted to make some big grandiose entrance and save everyone from the evil overload! Typically my fantasies were Power Ranger themed so I was always saving people from Lord Zedd or Rita.
Now that I’m a husband, that desire has never really gone away; it just manifests in a very different way than when I was a boy. Instead if saving people from Lord Zedd, I’m now trying to save TJ from the trap of chores and cleaning and laundry and cooking. I’m trying to save her from the ordinary life we live!
This is where my super hero fantasies really start to kick in… I imagine myself walking in, dressed in a tux, presenting her with a dozen roses, and sweeping her off her feet into a limousine for the most romantic night of her life.
However, in talking to TJ about this very subject, she reminded me of something she’s told me over and over again: While the big hero romantic things are great, sometimes It matters most to her when I help around the house. If I fold laundry without being asked, or I take out the garbage before she gets home. In serving her through those little daily tasks, she feels the most love.
If I’m being completely honest, which I try to be on here, I can’t say that I completely understand that thought. She would rather stay home but have me do some chores for her, than take her out for a nice romantic dinner. It’s very counter-intuitive for me.
It doesn’t make sense to me but I plan on working on it. I may not get it, but I get what it does for her, so I’m going to keep doing it. Because if that’s what she needs from her super hero, then that’s what I’ll be!
Agree, counter intuitive! Serving your spouse (or anyone really) by doing what they like or need, instead of what we think is best, means relinquishing control and actually loving the person enough to do their will and not ours. It’s not easy, but is totally rewarding.
I completely agree. Totally rewarding.
There’s a terrific amount of kndgleowe in this article!